Holy Crap confusion.

Current Mood(s):
Look at my title and mix it with public humiliation, and anxiousness. Oh, and please feel free to add a handful of confusion with pure excitement and dash of j-o-y.

Song(s) to describe my life right now:
A mingling ( thank my social studies teacher for that "marvelous" word "of interesting parallelism" )
of So What by Pink and Don't Ask Me by Ok Go.
And if you want, add All The Single Ladies by Beyonce just because I'm single.

Quote of the Day:
"You don't like everyone, so why should everyone like you?" -By unknown
---



Dear Diary, it's 5:30 PM and a school night. Note that I still have a whole night full of algebra homework to do right now. I really dislike algebra.

I've decided to put a little extra on the top of each entry just to add a little extra something, besides the fact that I write "Dear Diary" every entry when other just say "Hello world" or something that draws you in for attention like that. When I put "Dear Diary," at least I feel like I'm actually talking to a person, in some way or another. Go figure.
Or as PrincessGiggles always laughs at, Go Figure Skate.
And it's becoming a personal favorite of mine.

Down to birthday business, and in an earlier post remember when I said I hope my birthday won't go down in flames? I think it's going to. Not literally of course, but you get the idea.

I get the horrible idea that it'll end up like this...

http://media.photobucket.com/image/birthday%

and that, in my opinion, would be considered bad.

Sometimes I think that it would all be easier be totally un-popular and a total outcast.
But then again, I've been there before and it sucked donkey's tail end.

I got this whole idea of a blog from a really cool novel called Kiss and Blog by...well, I'm not sure who wrote it, but her last name had to little circles on the top of a couple letters. Wow. That was a horrid description. Winter and her friends Sloane were un-popular in their freshman year and decide to try to change their ways the next and Sloane ends up fitting right with the popular crowd while Winter sees it all as fake and not very fun. Sloane does not hold the door open for her as she enters popularity, and that's basically what it's all about. Poor Winter.
But in my real life, I am the Sloane and I left my metaphorical Winter, although there's no blog of hatred written about me by my ex-BFF I'm sure. But the book ends in a different way than it is right now, and I won't go ahead and give it all away.

So, back to my party.

MadameStuckey most likely won't being going to my party because of a stupid fight with her mom and Cheeky had the utmost bluntness-I think you start to gain more of that stuff as your rank goes up because anything before and it's just being rude-to ask to take her place at my party. I just said, "maybe" and smiled, the cheap shot to answering any question. She didn't buy it much though, but she asked again later once she got more details about it from my friends, who by the way, talk way too loud about it! Are they TRYing to get me in trouble?
But BigFatHen has yet to say anything nice to me...in this lifetime. She thinks that she's better then everyone else and it seriously pisses me off when people are like that. She obviously is not. When she split her chin open in PE I did partially feel bad for her, but sorry, karma's a female dog in which she was a dirty bone that day. If that somehow can be interpreted to make some kind of sense. BFH is the only girl and school who seems to truly dislike me and I most say that I very much dislike her. She has not asked me about my birthday or anything like that, but I did get a "thanks!" on Facebook when I said "Happy Birthday BigFatHen!" on her birthday. But of course, that's the kinda thing that everyone posts on the b-day-greeting-givers' profile.

----------- next day. 4:34 PM 3/5/09 that ^ was yesterday.

Scratch the last part about BigFatHen.
I admit...she was actually nice to me today. Then again, maybe she's just becoming accustomed to me because me and PrincessGiggles are pretty close now. Her and MS? Not as close.

What I was talking about yesterday was that I was thinking of was the Cheeky situation.

If I invite her, one or more of the following things will happen:

0 I'll have a better rep (A very popular girl practically begging to come to my party?)
0 People will think I'm a desperate wannabe (for having a very popular girl who isn't very close to me come to my birthday party)
0 I'll have more respect ( look at first reason)
0 I"ll have a shitty birthday party because I won't be comfortable cracking jokes or anything ( pardon my language but I feel very strongly 'bout this)
0 I'll have an envying party (pretty and popular girls going to an amusement park?)
0 Guys will check us out where we go (because Cheeky gives off the finishing touch of coolness)
0 My family will think that I'm cooler (ditto)

And that's where I stand. Help me choose what to do!!! Any self-respecting person with their dignity would not invite Cheeky I know, but come'on, she really wants to go and it would make me cooler in school. Not that I'm not popular now, but I would feel more confident and stuff if she were with me.

Oh, to help, here's the seating arrangement in the red mini-van without Cheeky and Apple:



Mom driving / ---------- no one next to her

BigBro / BigBro's girlfriend.

Me and NowBrunette or Me and PrincessGiggles / CrackerJacker / PG or NB

( I guess smallest haveta sit together)

so, where would Cheeky and Apple sit? My mom wants me to invite Apple. "she's a nice girl."

let's see where they could sit... ( note that Cheeky is kinda big ( tallness and leg wise ) and CJ is kinda chubby)
(Apple and Me are smaller, so is MB)

Mom driving / ---------- no one next to her
BigBro I could sit here with him instead. / BigBro's girlfriend.
Me and PrincessGiggles / CrackerJacker with Apple. / NB and Cheeky.

And we'd all have partners for rides. It's even.
But could we all fit??

Six in a THREE seater?!

Someone please help me, I'm anxious, worried and other stuff.

-That Girl.
-That Girl.
-still That Girl.