Saturday, March 21, 2009
OH, the stress.
Mood(s): Patient, Naive, Indignant
Song(s) to describe my life: If U Seek Amy by Britney Spears.
Quote of the Day: "If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." -Anonymous.
Why is that my quote? Well, why not?
Dear Diary (( 3:24 PM; no doubt that I still have confusing-as-hell algebra homework to do this weekend ))
SO. Guess what? Well...
* drum roll for dramatic effect please *
I got all my high school acceptance/declience ( is that a word, " declience?" probably not. who cares! ) papers.
I got into Washington, Sacred Heart Prep, and not into University 'cause I was missing a couple, excuse my language, stupid ass papers, and I forgot to take the lame SSAT. In some way, YES, it is mostly my bad for not remembering to take the test and getting the recommendation papers signed. But, too late, so does it matter? I always have found it a bit pathetic and useless to pity your past. Let the demons go, and move on with life! is what I always think. Without the demon part that is.
I'm kind of lost on choosing which school. SH will cost money since I didn't get any financial aid, but the school was really great when I shadowed. Wash seems okay, but I forgot to tour the place, and now I really regret it. It would be a whole lot easier if this city only had one high school to go to, or if there were two but one really sucked so it's basically only one good one.
sorry, I always do that when I'm stressing out. I have a spot in my diary just for scribbling random nothing's and it's very good for letting out emotions.
At home, ( I'm at "Daddy's" right now, which isn't "home" for me, just my dad's place. I live with "Mommy." That's right, everyone in my family, not just including my immediate, calls their parents "Mommy" and "Daddy." Not saying the words is really weird. If someone just says "Mom" everyone else flips out like a little alarm goes of in their head or something. I mean you're just like, "what?" but of course we don't talk about this. It's an unwritten rule for my family like, you know, the one where you don't date friends' ex's? Yeah, it's like that ) I got into a fight with my mom about talking back or whatever ( thanks to her I have to see the counselor at school now, but my friends don't know about it. I don't need the rep as the girl who is insane at home! Which I'm not!) though I was just trying to talk to her, and she threatened to take away Internet which means that I couldn't blog anymore! She doesn't know about this blog, thank goodness. But now, the Internet isn't working at home! I don't think that she really stopped Internet connection, but she might have! I'm afraid to talk to her about it since if she didn't, it may give her the idea of it.
There's also a new rule that I must be up and about brushing my teeth every morning by 6:30 AM now on school days, or else my mother will pick out my outfits for school and I have no choice if that happens. Which, may I say, sucks alot! It's way too hard for me and I'm like a fish without water the first 10 minutes I get up in the morning.
MS really hates me now.
Like seriously, she hates my guts and everything I touch. She won't text me, sit near me, talk to me in any positive way, stop scowling at me, or even give me acknowledge of my existence if I don't talk to her first causing the scowl to my existence. EBF ( Ex Best Friend ) told me that I've been trash-talked about. She says that MS says I blame her for everything ( note that I cannot recall a point when this was true. ) and I think it's because she just thinks that she's too good for me as of now. And it sucks. But most of all? It hurts really bad.
I've never had a person at school really dislike me before or actually trash talk about me. Sure the "she's kind of annoying sometimes" kind of talk to me I wouldn't mind so much, but right now I feel bad. Bad, bad, and like dirt. Especially since I don't know what to do here. She won't talk to me, so what should I do? Nothing that I can think of.
And what do I write in her yearbook this year as we graduate? I don't think that
Hey MS, you bitch!
I'm sure glad we're graduating so I don't have to see your inside-and-out ugly ass 5 days a week anymore.
Since I know that you think you're too good for me, screw you and have a shitty summer!!
All my HATRED,
Your cold shoulder: That Girl.
(( You know, the one who spent countless dollars on your snacks after school? ))
P.S. Hope you are dead at our 10 year reunion. :)
would really work. Partially because I would get in major trouble from the teachers and principal and partially 'cause all my, well everyone, would think that I"M a bitch ( excuse ALL the horrible language in this certain post. ) making MS cry and all that. Which she so would. Oh, and I might get beat up a couple times that day.
So, I'm stuck in a dead-end, no U-Turn path with her, unless of course, we go through one of those heartfelt make-ups and school one day filled with loving apologies and countless hugs.
But seriously, what's the chance of that actually happening? 1/100?
Okay. GREAT. I'll start my apology letter.
Sorry, I get cruelly sarcastic when I'm deeply upset.
Which would be now.
The May Dance in well, May is coming up and I'm hoping deep down in me that if it's guys' pick for partners in the swing, Nice Jock will ask me to be his partner. Yeah, the 8th graders all do the Swing, and the other grades do group dances, all the way from hip-hop dancing for 6th graders to square or ribbon dances for 1st graders. Cross your fingers and pray for me. The first guy wish to come true? It would be wonderful.
Huh and Hmm.