Tuesday, September 22, 2009

You make me crazier...crazier.

Mood: Big, fat, confusing mix of confusion. Like an oversized 15% bonus bag of Chex mix with an added surprise of lime flavored Cheetos and Cream Puffs. WHAT. Exactly, that's exactly how I feel-WHAT.
Song(s) of the Day: Big, fat mix of Crazier, You Belong with Me, Fifteen, and Teardrops on my Guitar, all by Taylor Swift. It's as if she ripped open my diary pages (okay BLOG pages for this) and rhymed my words, subtracted said sarcasm and bittersweet lines of course. Oh, wait add in That Girl ain't cute by Youngblaze. I was having a just-for-fun Insult Showdown with EBFF's friend who I don't really know, we had the insult war via AIM. I won the first battle, but he stung me bad with that above song and as he said, "I knew you would have reacted like that. I'm always one step ahead of the game. Told you."
Quote of the day: Big, fat mix of "That's what she said" and "This day was the best day of school yet" and "I could easily hook you up." Yup, there's high school all summed up for you. No, it's not actually filled with dumb rah-rah head cheerleaders-mind you that I was an official rah-rah dumb head for 2 weeks take or add a few days I skipped before quitting the team, and I still wonder what the two games were like?-even though yes indeed most of them are dumb lame and all around CHEESY(!!), at least they actually think it's cool. And they believe that it's true, so why does anything else really matter? And the football team? Dumb(more or less) jocks who think that since they have a Tackling Dude Career now, they can go be jerks to other guys and screw all the girls that they feel like. Ex. is that the Jock/Stereotypical Football Player sits at my table in algebra honors (he copies the nerd's work why of course. "DURR!" the Jock would say.) says that he and the other football players play a really "DURR!", at least in my opinion it's "DURR!" game called Smear the Queer which I find both stupid, lame, and mean. It really just supports the stereotypical football player place in a school. Like, really?
Oh, I give up on cliches, there really is no way to object and/or avoid them can you. I say that not in a question because I know that there is no appropriate answer to that, DURR!

Dear Diary ((9:51 PM?? Oh shit, when did it get that late? Oh, if you haven't noticed-I'm partial to swearing now. I tell people that when they ask if I swear. I do at times, but it's not a personal favorite to swear all the time. The only swear words I can admittedly say that I say quite easily are: Hell, hella, damn, DAYUMM. Not so bad, right? I mean, if I ever let out the "F" word I would have to be pretty damn angry at someone. I hate when people say "pissed" instead of "angry" or another more logical synonym. I mean, "pissed" means to pee so I almost find it disgusting to say "pissed" in that way actually. No lie. Straight up.
Sorry. I just love saying "He/She's a straight up____" and I love telling people that they're being "G's." I love to mess with people in a non-mean way. Almost like an inside joke with myself is making people confused by my random sayings. But, is the secret out now?))

As said before, I have quit the cheer squad. Team. Whatever.
It was lame beyond imaginable, like please gag me with a spoon lame, much like my not-happy biology class with a guy who used to basically have a mad crush on me and almost-stalk me.I turned him off with insults and non-hugs by now though. Thank god. He's ugly, short, and my new friend said that at her old school he would stalk "hella girls! you should stay away from him! -shudders-"
But, bio is so non-fun for me that I've told other friends before-yes I really said this out loud to the public-I'd rather shoot myself in the foot! Please just shoot. me. in. the. foot. now. Then maybe I could skip 1st period!. Followed by hair messing up by and to myself and then some much anticipated ranting, bitching, and moaning about my life. Oh right, bitch is another word I say at times too, although I don't like saying it. It makes me feel like one.

Wanna know something really weird?
DAMN! I just forgot. No, like really.
Ummmmm. Sorry. I forgot. Too late at night?

Well anyway, there's this guy in my Gym class who's a friend of my good friend who I think I named before, but I'll now call Vicky. I met Vicky at orientation and we've been pretty cool since. The guy I like is her friend. I'll call him AGymHero or AGM for short. He's really cute and although we've only talked once-a little at orientation, I really like him. A LOT. I keep looking in his direction hoping that he secretly makes secret looks at me the way I do at him. I'm not sure. I found him on Facebook through Vicky's friend list (Um, no I didn't spend an hour or two searching for him and chickening out when I could add him. We need to talk more. I don't know if he even knows my name. I just discovered his, after all. But for all you know...I never did that.) It's really weird...I don't think that I've had this kind of crush before. The shallow kind. Purely based on looks and a guess on his personality. Then again...at orientation I can distinctly remember our conversation! Did I ever tell you about it? Here's how it went:

AGH: Hey Vicky, is this your new friend?
Me: (I was trying to think of the Quick-Witted/Smart A-word, Yet Flirting With You response of "I do have a name you know!" with a cute giggle. But that didn't completely come out.)
I-I am here right now, you know. (Oh god, where did THAT come from? Was my thought. I said it was slight determination though and a tight smile so that I saw him smirk a little maybe like a Hey she kind of has a quick wit! thing was what he thought? I hope so. )

And that conversation plus a little tidbit of excess talk about the weather was how I remember orientation. I think that I've liked him since to be really honest. But I haven't told anyone this. Does he have a girlfriend? I wonder.

Oh, right I remember a little bit of what weird news I had to offer.
LightBright asked out (with my consent and a little non-literal push to do it since I was sooooo no longer into him) the girl who I forgot the name I gave her, so let's call her Shorty-because she's super duper short of course. He was rejected.
He hangs out with a lot of girls and I know what a big flirt he is now, but I no longer allow myself to flirt back or let myself start to cave in to him again.
I can't STAND flirts! I never trust them, and I don't think I ever will. I just need to learn how to handle my emotions.
But my emotions are all jumbled up. I'm so glad I'm venting right now. I was actually really starting to feel a little depressed before I started to talk the shit out of myself here. Now I feel a little better. Sure is a lot to get off my chest!
Damn Period. It's all my stupid time of the month's fault, really. I always get it around this time and have like after-cramps instead of before. Therefore, I've been PMSing all week with no relief of letting my emotions go and just holding eveything in and punching my pillow first thing when I get home.

Let's see...what else? Um.

OH YEAH! I have Health Ed, right?
Okay, gosh I get the picture.

So, I have Health-DURR!-and I learned about how it's not healthy to do something because you feel like you need to do it. Like gambling for example, smoking for another (I hate smokers so FN much. I think you know why, it's the smell and effects of it. My dad smokes and my mom does at times too now. She doesn't know that I know.), and shopping can also be one of the examples.
I buy junk food, devouring it over George Lopez episodes on Youtube and blogging here. Okay, devour is a little extreme. More like, eat it happily.
And I always feel better after!
New Year's Resolution:
Stop eating junk food as a habit!

Life if life as school is school. Where's the real lesson and test? Can I fail one and pass the other? And what's the whole point? I still pass GO and collect the big bucks for payday, right?
-That Girl, still in that confused-as-hell bag of Chex mix.

1 comment:

  1. haha im a freshman too, and i did cheerleading for like a few weeks, and then quit because i hated it. haha