Sunday, November 1, 2009

I'm still, I'm still, I'm still Geek Magnet from the block & Why can't I...?

couple-3.jpg cute. image by caitlin12xPumpfarm28.jpg Heart Pumpkin image by ElloraKay
"Yeah, I get a feeling that he just decided to apply for a job at Hooters since he's a girl today anyway." Me to the other girls from my part-time job.
(Remember him? He's the guy who was insanely nice to me, really cool, and kind of cute this summer. I saw him today and we went trick-or-treating with the other people I work with. He was cold and borrowed my friend's sister's jacket that made him look girlish so he decided to just be a girl for Halloween. Btw...I might like him...ANYWAY...more deets in a sec.)
The 3 guys thought that the pretty Hooters girl said to go grab the candy in the back, when really she said that there was no candy, so us girls left and realized that the guys didn't come out for a little while. They ran out and said that they went to go get the candy but couldn't find it, this is just so funny to me that I really must just LOL LOL LOL all over the place and add a :) because he's so nice and funny and easy to talk to...and god I think I might really like him, but I thought that I liked my other friend that I'll call Freckles because he's really cute and even though he doesn't have freckles, he reminds me of freckles.
Who do I like? I just don't get me...deep sigh.

Dear Diary, ((1:12 AM, whoa WHAT? Dude, it got late! Okay, well I'm going to say Happy Halloween right now even though technically, yes, it's November 1st in actuality. I'm so stressed. Two main things to get from my post today: I flirt with guys easily and attract geeks like bugs to flames. Also, I flirt with guys but when it comes to admitting that I have a crush on someone I chicken out. Therefore, no guys for me. But...I really think that I might like CGF from work. He's really nice and funny, but that doesn't mean that he couldn't go and reject me if he ever found out. It almost seems like he likes me, but I could never take the risks, my friends all come to me of all people for advice on their guy troubles, but hello I'm the one without a boyfriend right now and I just get freaked out when I hear how guys hurt and reject some of them because I feel like all the horrible things that could happen, will happen. How very depressing. My life sucks, huh?))

Okay, I basically explained my main stress right up there ^ but my second stress? I'm a geek magnet! I got one geeky and clingy "stalker" who asked out 87 girls last year according to my source which is my friend "Veronica" who went to school with him last year and her other middle school years. Also, this insanely geeky guy asked me to "hang with him sometime" and I asked EXBFF about this and she agreed that he was asking me out to date him. I told Veronica about this and she did a shivery type thing and agreed that he was plain hideous.

I think that I might like Freckles, but I'm not sure. His personality is nice, he's averagely okay and I hang out with him a lot. He doesn't really date that much and he's pretty okay looking. The only thing-which might not seem like such a big deal to some people, but it is for me-is that he's not genuinely funny to me. I mean, sometimes he is kind of funny, but usually I almost force out a laugh and ask questions to see where the punch line went without being obvious. I mean, he's just bad at telling stories to be totally truthful. I laugh at his stories that he thinks are funny usually because the actual story is funny but the way he presents it makes it sound bad, where as I do the opposite where I make totally uninteresting stories interesting with adjectives and slight exaggerations and good facial expressions and all that good stuff. Not that I'm bragging though, I mean I obviously do have problems...far too many problems actually...deep sigh again.

See, CoolGuyFriend (CGF) tells me good stories that make me laugh and tell me really funny jokes, inside jokes, and stories, and facts and all sorts of things. I think that he's also slightly better looking and more interesting, but I see him only once or twice a month, so what's the point? He always touches my shoulder and arm and pays for me and talks to me really sweetly and I can totally imagine going out with him, but I just don't know. I don't think that I could take being rejected even though I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't reject me if by the one in 90 billion chance that I suddenly got a sudden burst of courage and decided to ask him out. Maybe if I get drunk someday when we're at a party together I would tell him, but then I'd probably say a little too much and end up puking on his Vans right after getting the big news off me chest. Just shove that last idea back down, I won't ever be doing that.

Wait, let's talk music for a sec.
Oh god, right now I'm listening to Geek in the Pink by Jason Mraz and it makes me feel bad. I love this song because I'd love to tell a guy this and convince them that I'm the girl for him (you know, if I was a geek in the first place) by sneaking a mix tape in their locker some day and he gives me a hug and kisses me on the lips in the middle of the hallway randomly and then he says "You were never a geek in pink, but you were always the girl for me." But I can imagine an ugly guy in high school who suddenly gets really famous and attractive after school ends and how girls were so mean to him that it caused him to write entertaining songs about their pain and then it's too late to apologize.
I prefer Smile by Uncle Kracker which makes me feel really good and heartwarming. Every time I have a crush on someone I feel this way about them, although a little less um, everything in the song. Not quite as extreme, but something like that. This song reminds me of the county fair and how I'd love to go with a boyfriend like CGF and eat cotton candy together and smash ice cream or cake in the other person's face and go on the ferris wheel together. It sounds like I really like CGF, huh? I wish I knew, but words only go so far and then comes everything else in your head, huh?

Well, I wanna go to sleep before 2 AM (YIKES!) so I'll say some more another day. Sorry I haven't been able to blog much lately, but I have so much going on that it's hard to put it all into words. My problem used to be the opposite, I'd be able to say everything I do and post it up, but have too much time on my hands and now I have the exact opposite.

Happy Halloween, watch out Dracula tonight ;) !

-That Girl, on the prowl and confused like peanut butter without his beloved jelly, what goes where and how?

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