Sunday, May 30, 2010

Do guys like funny girls?

Dear Diary,

Do guys like funny girls?
No, I'm not talkin' about guys liking funny girls as friends (we all know the guy who loves to make as many girl friends as possible to douche-ily show off to their stupid, chauvinist guy pals; who in turn slap him on the back and over-pronounce, along with over-use the words DUDE and DAMN in their totally conspicuous teenage-boy pubescent voices, which inevitably crack in an embarrassing manner), I mean guys liking funny girls as more than a good laugh here and there.

I know that I must sound pretty teen-angsty right now (not to be easily confused with angioplasty, which wouldn't make much of any sense in this situation being that I don't know what a person with repaired blood vessels would sound like) but here me out for a minute. And by a minute, I mean more then a literal 60 seconds which my mom would count to if I asked her to wait a minute.

From past experience it seems to me-unlike movies like Charlie's Angels where Cameron Diaz is adorably funny throughout the film and happens to find a guy who loves her endearing self
(You find me a real Luke Wilson and prove me wrong though. And I mean, even if you don't think of the lack of Luke Wilsons in the world, Cameron Diaz is a really hot girl who happens to be funny, so you can't really compare her to the very-much-average-shaped funny girls abundant in what the very common DragonSlayerLovesPI314 would call, "RL...newbz! Level up or gtfoh!")
-that guys will first treat the girl like she's a piece of freakin' cheesecake being inspected in the Cheesecake Factory before deciding if she's girlfriend or buddy material.
To start off every relationship, there must be introductions in order.
Now, you know that every guy tries to be all suave, though ends up being obviously flirty when introducing himself.
It's kinda like how some girls on Facebook add a winking smiley face after everything they say, which I think is kind of weird and not sexy at all. It's also weird when you add a winking face when talking to a friend of the opposite sex when it's obvious you're being flirty. I myself only use a winking face to show that something is a secret or personal or said cheekily (much like this whole blog) but I would never use it to flirt with friends. Why spend your time flirtin' with friends when you can go find more interesting specimens out there to flirt with? Ya feel me, G? (G for goofy, not for gangstah, of course.)
This has been the OD of ";)" Alert!
Sorry for the change of subject, I've just been meaning to get the ";)'s" rant off my chest.
;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
Now. How annoying would it be to put a ";)" after every sentence I say? ;)

Hey, I've seen you around. What's your name?
Hi Person-I've-Never-Met-Before.
He'll ask, trying to deepen actual squeaky voice which the other jock guys would verify as, "Hella gay, you fag!" with joint agreements of how the boy is completely the King of Faggitude or whatnot.
How many times I have seen a guy trying to be suave when using one of those lines. It's not even a question, it's more of a statement. Even though they're going for the "Suave" look, they end up looking like a bottle of "Bedhead" after messing with their hair nervously the whole time. Guys seriously need to pick their game up and learn some new material.

Now, what happens after he gives says hi?
Well, there are several options of what to say and the result of the choice of option will probably result in either:
A.) Instant Chemistry
B.) Instant Awkwardness (Ever notice how even the word awkward looks awkward? What the hell kind of word has a k with 2 w's?!)
C.) Nothingness; not caring, or nothing said after for no reason. Not awkward, but no chemistry.

Now, me, myself, and more of me is good at introducing friends with eachother, but I have a bad habit of saying stupid things out-loud that my head decides to think of. For example:
ExBestFriend has a friend who I won't use a code-name for this time, cuz you wouldn't get the punchline if I used a different name in this story.
EXBFF's friend is called Verrone. A guy in my 1st period-who's name has no subsequent value in this story-came into the crepe place near school; which me, Verrone, and EXBFF were in. No Subsequent Dude greets me and EXBFF (we all went to K to 8 together) and he says, "Hi person I don't know," to Verrone.
They introduce themselves and I slightly overhear their introductions as I overlook the menu of crepes. Verrone introduces herself as Verrone, natch. Then NSD says his name and I thought I heard him say, "My name is Ronny." Of course, I knew he really didn't say that, but my slow-thinking brain told me that this was funny because Ronny sounded similar to Verrone so I blurted out, "Oh, I thought I heard you say your name was Ronny! And I was like, your name isn't Ronny! Ha-ha." He gives me a strange look and does that thing where you go, "Wait what?" as I explain the story then he does the "Okay..." thing wherein I immediately felt sort of awkward and stupid.
This was much funnier in my head; it should have stayed there.

So, every story has a moral or punchline. Mine is to not say stupid things when introducing friends to one another.

Anyway, if you're wondering, this is how my guy-friend relationships go:
First I'll get the so-called flirty (but really dorky and unoriginal) introductions and then after the whole get-to-know-each other thing is over, I'll see how he handles me when I act really goofy and sarcastic since that's how my real personality is (unlike the giggly and flirty girl you first meet) , and most of the time he'll continue flirting and all that jazz, but I'll get bored with him and stop being flirty and put him in the friend zone by calling him "buddy" and being funny instead of the giggly-girl I pretend to be. Sometimes he continues flirting and asks to hang, but I'm not interested. I never get guys like me the way I like them, Either they like me too much and I have to cut them off (I have an OD on stalkers, btw) or I'll like them more than they like me and pretend that I never liked them in the first place (Have you seen that Facebook group that says, "Hey Cupid, can you shoot as both next time? Thanks." ?)

So, most guys do not like my funny girls at my school. Let's just say that. Yeah, they like the endearing girls with unique qualities (Often time the quality is total conceitedness or overly pompous-confidence. They get totally affected from the change of middle-school to high-school, and guys think that the "cool" girl-despite her terrible qualities-is the girl they need to have. It's as if they're Scooby Dooby Doo and the bitch they follow around has Scooby Snacks.) You want some examples and crapola to back my shizz up? Fine, let's do it 7th grade English Essay style. Oh yeah, prepare yourself for some delicious, fresh-baked Food For Thought.
Note that it's not in proper paragraph form and isn't as long as my usual BS essay, but don't grade me down for that Ms. Sourpuss Reader!

Bitch for One, Please.
by That Girl; 9th grade; yeah I'm that average looking girl in your English class about to blog batshit crazy about everyone once class lets out. [Hyperbole!]
Just yankin' your chain...aren't I? ;)

"Who do you like?" The basic question asked between all people (nerds, geeks, cool kids, stalkers, flirts, lovers, friends, crushes, exes, you name it) of the opposite sex in high school. Who does the guy with the cute-skater hair and cool flannel shirts who sits next to you in 2nd period Algebra like? Is he flirting with you when he walks by your desk-the long way around the room, might I add-to get a tissue and knocks his knuckles rhythmically along the desk while walking by? The dynamics of high school relationships range from these, with more specific relationships omitted: Friends, Dating, Flirting Friends.
Look around your high school and I'll bet you your lunch money that the girl who's standing in the cluster of the good-looking guys would be totally verified as "hot" by the local boys. She's the girl that the guys go crazy over, can't get over their heads, go coo coo for (not for coco puffs, mind you). Sure, she might be funny too, but she's hot. If she was the most average looking girl in school, but was funny, would the guys give her the same attention? No, they would not. Naturally, the girl other guys drool after is hot, pretty, outgoing, albeit bitchy. What every guy dreams of. The female class clown in your class? Is she the prettiest girl you've ever seen? 10 to 1, the answer is no. The class clown is your buddy, the person you don't take seriously. The hot girl? Oh man, you take her way too seriously.
These are the reasons that while the funny girl has a personality which can light up the room, make you roll over laughing, and bring tears of joy to your eyes as you "ROFLMAO", she can't compete with serious girl who guys love to get to know better. Guys want a challenge, evidently. They wanna peel the layers off the serious girl and see what's underneath, but they assume that the funny girl is just funny and fun. A guy doesn't like a girl who can compete with his funniness or what he thinks is "masculinity," he just wants a giggling bundle of joy to pet his ego.
What's wrong with the world?

Yeah, I could have written more about Bitch For One, Please except that I started that post about 1 and a half weeks ago and am sick of ranting about guys not liking funny, weird, or interesting girls. It's called being endearing, people! And endearing should be a trait ment not only for the weird friends you have and love, but also for the love of your life who you can put the title "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" on in written word. Ya feel me, G[oofy]?


So, I said a little while ago that I wanted to talk about a certain name which I really dislike because of the fact that the two people I know with that name are without-a-doubt straight up bitches; bitchy bitch style, with a side order of bitch, and a bitchin' lemon in the bitching glass of water brought to you by your own personal bitch. Although, I hope that if anyone with the name I am about to share reads this, they know that the only reason I think this is cuz I have no evidence against it, only towards it.
Dun dun dun.
The name is.

This does NOT include Stellaluna the bat though. Especially since I said that I don't like people with this name. I said nothing of the sort referring to bats. Bats are ill dude, leave 'em be.
I'm too sleepy to explain the history behind why I don't like the name right now, so I'll go ahead and press the
button so that I can go to sleep. If LBB ever stops texting me that is, darn tootin' boy.

Texting may be the greatest and the worst invention ever.
-That Girl, stop textin' me you stalkers! Oh yeah, and you too LBB.


  1. I think it depends on the funny. You know, some of us are funny who don't even try to be. Then there are those who are ridiculously funny as in ..get this joke..And then if you laugh at all their funnies..they tend not to take you seriously..after awhile. Its kind of like a balancing act.

  2. you are an amazing writer. in fact i just spent about three hours of my life reading your blog. not to mention it was probably three of the most exciting hours of the day. or week even. well anyways i love the way you write.