Tuesday, September 12, 2017

PICK IT UP, GIRL

DEAR DIARY,

IT'S TIME TO NOT SUCK ANYMORE.

I'M 22, ABLE TO DO SO MUCH. EVERY DAY IS A NEW LIFE.

Who cares if shit didn't work out in the past and ended up hitting the fan/ my face? Any able bodied person would wipe the shit off of their face and learn from their mistakes. Never again. Never do the same fuck ups again and move on - am I right?

We're too young, us 22-year olds, to feel trapped by our situations when the entities which are making us feel trapped are just dreamt up by our own fears. The fear of not being good enough - that's the one that eats at me. The fear that I'm not competent, actually. That if I put my best face forward and try my hardest, I'll still be second taco to whoever's around me and naturally excelling at what I'm struggling with. But ENOUGH OF THAT. I am worthy of goodness, if I make myself a loving and hard-working individual. People will judge you, and that cannot be helped. If you are virtuous - courageous, harbor strong convictions, avoiding causing unnecessary harm to others, plant seeds of generosity in others, avoid materialism, learn and show others what wisdom you have to help them out of difficult situations, love yourself for who you are, and are kind to even the weakest of souls - your goodness will be exuberant and in its own right, untouchable. People can try to take you down, but in all honesty - everyone is going through their own struggles. Make the world an easier place to be in, understand that people come from their own places of hardships, and be the best version of YOURSELF. I've never admitted this outside of the internet, but I had a terrible time loving myself growing up. I always wanted to be anyone, but myself. I wanted to grow up and become someone else. I would adapt my personality entirely to the people around me because I wanted to be liked. It's shameful and I'm not proud. But now I can say it here because I'm happy with the kind of person I've become. I still haven't figured out exactly what my own voice is - but I know that if I keep my head up, rather, pick it UP and HOLD IT UP (metaphorically), I'll become more like a person who I want to be. And I honestly feel that everyday I'm getting better with it.

Genuinely get to know others and bring out the best in them, but make sure the closest souls you trust in will do the same for you. Speak when you actually have something to say. Don't overanalyze to fit in - be yourself. Love the things that make you happy and work on the parts of your personality that have embarrassed you in the past. Everyday, do something that you don't want to do and that challenges your mind. Don't give up. Don't give up.

Don't give up.

-That Girl. Please please, I beg you, be around people who make you better, not worse.











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