Relentless Restlessness in Love

Dear Diary,

What does one do when they have what they want? Maintain it? Sure, and it's worth the effort, surely if what they have is significant and moving.
But nothing is a certainty, just moments are experienced as they go. Happiness is fleeting and relationships between people, despite persevering between some, take two to tango. Relationships, especially those romantic, are ridiculously impactful on one's life - ridiculous, I tell you. Even the flings and the friends with benefits, the long-term guys and the playboys, they alter your life's history of experiences. It is terrifying in its own merits to love somebody, as the verbal acknowledgement itself thereby makes it public knowledge to family and friends which its disclosed to that your heart is able to be broken ( *rolls eyes* again?!). But it's okay, because once you love yourself and your own worth in life, you are able to freely give this love without expecting something particular in return. Because there are some things you can't control and some things which you simply shouldn't control. Yes, you can study all of the dating manuals and pull up your collective knowledge of the right and wrong things to say to someone who catches you eye, then study their personality type and make record of their likes and dislikes, probable sense of humor and favorite things to talk about, but... where did you go in all of this? Let's say you win their heart. Is this really what you want, to win somebody over and forevermore be a prize in their eyes? Or do you want someone who sees you just living, without the bullshit dating tactics and compulsions to be optimistic and flattering and wonderful when in the presence of other people? Because, yes, life is grand and what could be more awing than to marvel in its splendor among another who thinks likemindedly? Are the minor thoughts and little successes and ability to emphasize with another about what a beautiful day it is today or why the new kind of coffee at Starbucks is interesting or how Debbie's friendship with me impacts my lifestyle all reducible to nonsensical babble, when I could throw out an honestly effective dating line, flirt a little, and seduce my partner's brain and body to be hooked onto how I make them feel a better use of time?
When somebody uses every trick in the book to catch someone worth trying for and the relationship reduces into everything that dating books say a healthy relationship should actually be, is there something raw in the truth of being yourself unpolished, lost in the madness of romance and maturation?

-That Girl, love still glimmers