Thursday, September 24, 2009

SM-ORE'S please!

Song(s) of the Day: I Do not Hook Up-Kelly Clarkson, Please don't leave me-Pink. Why? Well because Diary, BECAUSE my dear friend, freakin' LB keeps on flirting with me in freakin' Drama class and I don't like it. Sure, at my middle school I would give anything for FirstCrush-from 2nd grade to 3rdish I think-to flirt with me. He still acknowledges me with head nods and "What's up That Girll!" when we see eachother and I'm glad of it. He's a really good guy. And uhm, cute too, may I add? But at the same time, I don't like BL's flirting because I feel like he does this with all girls...I'm just another one. And it makes me a little sad and a little angry. Sure, I don't like him anymore, but I've noticed that since he was rejected a little while ago by the girl he liked, we haven't been talking quite as much. Today in Drama-hahh ironic ain't it? DRAMA class!-he wrote on my hand with a pen. He does this a lot, yes I think he is flirting. But today he wrote "That Girl loves NiceCuteGuy" on my hand. NCG is my new friend who I actually have been hanging out with after school a lot. I went to his house with EBF and her friend Funneh whose super HI-larious. 5 Gold stars to Funneh.

UGH POS-parent over shoulder. Not literally.

Ciao diary, much more to say but later.

-That Girl, confused about who she likes. Is...BOY NUMBER 1 the Correct answer or perhaps BOY NUMBER 5? Who knows.

BTW, I had SMORES at NCG's place today. More 411 tomorrow!
Much love and kisses.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

You make me crazier...crazier.

Mood: Big, fat, confusing mix of confusion. Like an oversized 15% bonus bag of Chex mix with an added surprise of lime flavored Cheetos and Cream Puffs. WHAT. Exactly, that's exactly how I feel-WHAT.
Song(s) of the Day: Big, fat mix of Crazier, You Belong with Me, Fifteen, and Teardrops on my Guitar, all by Taylor Swift. It's as if she ripped open my diary pages (okay BLOG pages for this) and rhymed my words, subtracted said sarcasm and bittersweet lines of course. Oh, wait add in That Girl ain't cute by Youngblaze. I was having a just-for-fun Insult Showdown with EBFF's friend who I don't really know, we had the insult war via AIM. I won the first battle, but he stung me bad with that above song and as he said, "I knew you would have reacted like that. I'm always one step ahead of the game. Told you."
Quote of the day: Big, fat mix of "That's what she said" and "This day was the best day of school yet" and "I could easily hook you up." Yup, there's high school all summed up for you. No, it's not actually filled with dumb rah-rah head cheerleaders-mind you that I was an official rah-rah dumb head for 2 weeks take or add a few days I skipped before quitting the team, and I still wonder what the two games were like?-even though yes indeed most of them are dumb lame and all around CHEESY(!!), at least they actually think it's cool. And they believe that it's true, so why does anything else really matter? And the football team? Dumb(more or less) jocks who think that since they have a Tackling Dude Career now, they can go be jerks to other guys and screw all the girls that they feel like. Ex. is that the Jock/Stereotypical Football Player sits at my table in algebra honors (he copies the nerd's work why of course. "DURR!" the Jock would say.) says that he and the other football players play a really "DURR!", at least in my opinion it's "DURR!" game called Smear the Queer which I find both stupid, lame, and mean. It really just supports the stereotypical football player place in a school. Like, really?
Oh, I give up on cliches, there really is no way to object and/or avoid them can you. I say that not in a question because I know that there is no appropriate answer to that, DURR!

Dear Diary ((9:51 PM?? Oh shit, when did it get that late? Oh, if you haven't noticed-I'm partial to swearing now. I tell people that when they ask if I swear. I do at times, but it's not a personal favorite to swear all the time. The only swear words I can admittedly say that I say quite easily are: Hell, hella, damn, DAYUMM. Not so bad, right? I mean, if I ever let out the "F" word I would have to be pretty damn angry at someone. I hate when people say "pissed" instead of "angry" or another more logical synonym. I mean, "pissed" means to pee so I almost find it disgusting to say "pissed" in that way actually. No lie. Straight up.
Sorry. I just love saying "He/She's a straight up____" and I love telling people that they're being "G's." I love to mess with people in a non-mean way. Almost like an inside joke with myself is making people confused by my random sayings. But, is the secret out now?))

As said before, I have quit the cheer squad. Team. Whatever.
It was lame beyond imaginable, like please gag me with a spoon lame, much like my not-happy biology class with a guy who used to basically have a mad crush on me and almost-stalk me.I turned him off with insults and non-hugs by now though. Thank god. He's ugly, short, and my new friend said that at her old school he would stalk "hella girls! you should stay away from him! -shudders-"
But, bio is so non-fun for me that I've told other friends before-yes I really said this out loud to the public-I'd rather shoot myself in the foot! Please just shoot. me. in. the. foot. now. Then maybe I could skip 1st period!. Followed by hair messing up by and to myself and then some much anticipated ranting, bitching, and moaning about my life. Oh right, bitch is another word I say at times too, although I don't like saying it. It makes me feel like one.

Wanna know something really weird?
DAMN! I just forgot. No, like really.
Ummmmm. Sorry. I forgot. Too late at night?

Well anyway, there's this guy in my Gym class who's a friend of my good friend who I think I named before, but I'll now call Vicky. I met Vicky at orientation and we've been pretty cool since. The guy I like is her friend. I'll call him AGymHero or AGM for short. He's really cute and although we've only talked once-a little at orientation, I really like him. A LOT. I keep looking in his direction hoping that he secretly makes secret looks at me the way I do at him. I'm not sure. I found him on Facebook through Vicky's friend list (Um, no I didn't spend an hour or two searching for him and chickening out when I could add him. We need to talk more. I don't know if he even knows my name. I just discovered his, after all. But for all you know...I never did that.) It's really weird...I don't think that I've had this kind of crush before. The shallow kind. Purely based on looks and a guess on his personality. Then orientation I can distinctly remember our conversation! Did I ever tell you about it? Here's how it went:

AGH: Hey Vicky, is this your new friend?
Me: (I was trying to think of the Quick-Witted/Smart A-word, Yet Flirting With You response of "I do have a name you know!" with a cute giggle. But that didn't completely come out.)
I-I am here right now, you know. (Oh god, where did THAT come from? Was my thought. I said it was slight determination though and a tight smile so that I saw him smirk a little maybe like a Hey she kind of has a quick wit! thing was what he thought? I hope so. )

And that conversation plus a little tidbit of excess talk about the weather was how I remember orientation. I think that I've liked him since to be really honest. But I haven't told anyone this. Does he have a girlfriend? I wonder.

Oh, right I remember a little bit of what weird news I had to offer.
LightBright asked out (with my consent and a little non-literal push to do it since I was sooooo no longer into him) the girl who I forgot the name I gave her, so let's call her Shorty-because she's super duper short of course. He was rejected.
He hangs out with a lot of girls and I know what a big flirt he is now, but I no longer allow myself to flirt back or let myself start to cave in to him again.
I can't STAND flirts! I never trust them, and I don't think I ever will. I just need to learn how to handle my emotions.
But my emotions are all jumbled up. I'm so glad I'm venting right now. I was actually really starting to feel a little depressed before I started to talk the shit out of myself here. Now I feel a little better. Sure is a lot to get off my chest!
Damn Period. It's all my stupid time of the month's fault, really. I always get it around this time and have like after-cramps instead of before. Therefore, I've been PMSing all week with no relief of letting my emotions go and just holding eveything in and punching my pillow first thing when I get home.

Let's see...what else? Um.

OH YEAH! I have Health Ed, right?
Okay, gosh I get the picture.

So, I have Health-DURR!-and I learned about how it's not healthy to do something because you feel like you need to do it. Like gambling for example, smoking for another (I hate smokers so FN much. I think you know why, it's the smell and effects of it. My dad smokes and my mom does at times too now. She doesn't know that I know.), and shopping can also be one of the examples.
I buy junk food, devouring it over George Lopez episodes on Youtube and blogging here. Okay, devour is a little extreme. More like, eat it happily.
And I always feel better after!
New Year's Resolution:
Stop eating junk food as a habit!

Life if life as school is school. Where's the real lesson and test? Can I fail one and pass the other? And what's the whole point? I still pass GO and collect the big bucks for payday, right?
-That Girl, still in that confused-as-hell bag of Chex mix.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Live adventureous...Go outback.

45.[sweet].things a girl wants, but wont ask for ♥
1.Touch her waist.
2.Actually talk to her.
3.Share secrets with her.
4.Give her 1 of your hoodies.
5.Kiss her slowly.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Are you remembering this?
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6.Hug her.
7.Hold her.
8.Laugh with her.
9.Invite her somewhere.
10.Hangout with her and your friends together. And don't ignore her.
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11.Smile with her.
12.Take pictures with her.
13.Pull her onto your lap.
14.When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15.When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she can't get to her friends. it makes her feel loved.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Are you thinking of someone?
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16.Always hug her and say hi whenever you see her.
17.Kiss her unexpectedly.
18.Hug her from behind around the waist.
19.Tell her she's beautiful.
20.Tell her the way you feel about her.
21.Open doors for her, walk her to her car- it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22.Tell her she's your everything - ONLY if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, just hug her and tell her how much you care about her.
24.Make her feel loved.
25.Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know
26.DON'T lie to her
27.DON'T cheat on her!!!
28.Take her ANYWHERE she wants
29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at work {or school} and how much you MISS her.
30. Be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can ALWAYS count on you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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31.Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold YOU too.
32.When you are ALONE hold her close and kiss her.
33.Kiss her on the CHEEK (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her)
34.While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
35. Don't EVER tell her to leave even joking or act like you're mad.
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36.When people DISS her, stand up for her.
37.Look deep into her EYES and tell her you love her.
38.Lay down under the STARS and put her head on your chest so you can
39.When walking next to each other grab her HAND.
40.When you hug her HOLD her in your arms as long as possible
41.Call or text her EVERY night to wish her SWEET DREAMS
42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43.Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS Remind her how much you love her.
45. If you break up but still like her, don't act like a jerk. be a man and do something about it.

Dear Diary (( 9:36 PM on Sunday night, English honors homework is done at ExBestFriendForever's house. I had to re-write the story of the Three Little pigs, from the wolf's perspective, straight up. "Straight up," has been a personal favorite line to tell people. It makes people make a face at you and it's insanely funny. I also try to add a "FASHO!" here at there just for comic effect of course. I love to see their faces.))

I wanted to type so much today! Sigh-well I have a lot of new exciting news about guys, friends, and life in general so I'll just T-T-Y-L?

Much love and kisses (which I have yet to get?)
-That Girl, straight up. Fasho? Yes indeed deary.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

100th post! Though the grass is always greener of course.

Song of the day: If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback and Fairytale by Sara Barieillies

Quote of the day: No quote today.
ACTION of the day: Hugs from LightBright.

Mood: So very confused.

Dear Diary, ((12:36 AM on Saturday-or I guess SUNDAY-night, or I guess you could say "Morning" since it's techically in the "AM" right now.))

I'm so very confused right now!
I invited Sunshine (remember her from my drab midddle school days?) to go shopping with me and LightBright today and I also invited Ex-BestFriendForever too but then Sunshine went and invited Cheeky from middle school years. And I didn't want to freak out LB, so we basically hid and avoided them all day today.

I had so much fun today! LB kept on hugging and tickling me and taking pictures with me as we went shopping downtown with EBFF tagging along. was originally just gonna be me and LB shopping by ourselves downtown but I just had to invite someone else! I was nervous it would be awkward for the two of us, but it wasn't awkward at any time. At all.

And I really do want to be happy about the whole day, but there were some less-than-perks that we encountered.

First off, me and EBFF were about 2 hours late meeting LB downtown today. I was in a guilt trip all morning and couldn't get out of it. I had to lie and say that the bus broke down.

Second, I was nervous that if LB met Sunshine and Cheeky, he would be freaked out and turned off by my school friends. And he ended up not wanting to meet them so we ran from store to store avoiding them, though I won't lie; it was fun running around with him. He let me wear his hat so I wore it sideways on my head all day and looked super adorable-slash-crazy.

But mostly? The biggest problem for me is that I'm not used to this. I'm not used to having a guy hugging me and joking with me and getting my jokes and getting me in general. I'm so used to the teasing and mean boys. Mean stupid boys being mean and stupid. But now there's LightBright...who's kind and funny and who likes hugging me.

EBFF thinks that LB likes me, but I don't know if I can truthfully believe it. I've liked about 5 guys in total in my life and none of them have admittedly said that they like me or flirted with my to my knowledge.

Although there was this one guy in my Bio class that used to like me.
He kept texting me and texting me and texting me stupid things like "watcha up to now?!" every 15 minutes and it freaked me out. He practically made me hug him (he still does make me hug him after Bio every day) and it almost felt like he was stalking me. Every corner; there he is. I go to the local smoothie store with friends after school, and guess who's across the street looking directly at me?
I eventually had to stop the whole thing. I did not like him and still don't and am NOT NOT NOT attracted to him in any way! So now in Bio, me and another girl tease him all class period about little things. Little stings, small burns, but no truely mean things are said to him. And it worked! Thank god he stopped liking me the other day!

Anyway, like I said. I'm not used to LightBright's attention and it actually scares me a little. I think I'm afraid to be hurt now. I'm so open and so myself that I'm scared he'll not like me for me. But...he seems to like me so far.
I'm really confused, and in some way I'm not sure if...
We're really close and I don't know how to handle it.

Fifteen by Taylor Swift, check it out.

-That Girl, confused, but maybe a little happy?

BTW! 100th POST! Woot woot thank you to my 6 followers, you help me soo much just by being a follower. It encourages me to write more. And I love you all.
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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Boys are Stupid. Dumb. Confusing. Fun. Lovely. Dumb.

Dear Diary (( No time for quote of the day or other things today, sorry! 11:21 PM ))

So-so-so much to say! But not enough time to speak the words that I'm thinking of!
And it's 11:22 PM, Thurday night AKA School night, have to sleep soon. But hey, guess who doesn't have algebra homework to do tonight? :)

Here's the scoop summed up- by the way-mom wakes up right now and finds me typing at this hour = death.

Marly and Mindy have decided to go out. Woo-hoo big surprise. They have hardly talked to eachother though, all too shy.

LightBright and me have gotten considerably-seriously!-close. We hug, text everyday after school and talked about just about everything.
Do I like him as more than a friend? Still a question good 'ol That Girl is struggling to find the answer to. I still have his sweater but he'll get it back tomorrow.

I made the cheer squad. Boring though.

MGFG told LightBright that she liked him about 2 weeks ago. Any progression between them? Not to my knowledge!

Oh man it's 11:30 already. Gotta jet amigos!
Ciao Bella!

-That Girl, confused about guys like green tea is about actually being the color brown most of the time.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

I just got the quiz resut of "Who's your boyfriend?" and I literally got LightBright for the answer.

Meet your new boyfriend, LightBright.

He is SO much fun. He's kinda childlike in some ways -- he'd love to finger paint with you, for example. You two will probably meet in the park while he and his friends are having a squirt gun war. Maybe you'll accidentally get hit with a sneak attack meant for someone else, and he'll offer to treat you to a slushie to make it up to you, and the next thing you know, you'll be sharing a blue-slush flavored kiss. LightBright will occasionally make fun of you, but you won't mind, because he's not really being jerky -- it's just how he flirts. Sometimes he might seem more like a wacky best friend than a boyfriend, but when he runs his hand through your hair and kisses your neck, you'll feel SO lucky to have him in your arms.

p.s. Can you believe how hot he looks, even covered in mud?

Like this quiz? Send it to a friend!

19% of the people who took this quiz got the same evaluation.

Note: I changed the name of the actual guy I like to LightBright and his actual name was the result to the quiz!!


Friday, September 4, 2009

How to say: Surprise.

"You're right. He has absolutely no scent. But guy's jackets are so much warmer than girl's jackets!" Me to my new friend who shall be known as MGFG-or Mini Guy's Friend Girl.
She's EBFF's old friend and a tomboy, shorter than me-I know I was in shock when I saw her height too-and she kids around with guys a lot. In guy ways, no flirty ways. But she stole the jacket of a guy I now like who I'll name LightBright, or LB because he wears bright t-shirts most of the time. But, in a non-gay way. He's a jock , but definitely a class clown too. I was cold today and took his jacket home with me.
And I won't lie. I loved it.

Dear Diary, (( 11:13 PM on Friday night, came back home late from EBFF's house because we were hanging out at her house after my cheer tryouts-which I think I totally BOMBED, but hey I could be wrong and the other girls could've been more suckish than me-and we talked on speakerphone to our new friend I'll name FunnyBone because he's hilarious and we asked him off the wall questions that made us keel over with laughter. We also made eggs and watched Family Feud plus a little bit of Spongebob Squarepants. ))

So-obviously-I've gotten over my little crush on Marly. It was purely platonic anyways. Wait, what's platonic again? I forgot. Like not completely true and in-depth or something, right? Like..lemme just look it up!
2.pertaining to, involving, or characterized by Platonic love as a striving toward love of spiritual or ideal beauty.
3.(usually lowercase) purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, esp. in a relationship between two persons of the opposite sex.
4.(usually lowercase) feeling or professing platonic love: He insisted that he was completely platonic in his admiration.

Well anyway, that's what platonic means and I guess I was wrong about what I just said.
Shove that back down!
I meant to say that my crush on him was purely...on the surface. I didn't really know his personality all that well, and I just saw what I wanted to see. The good 'ol facts, and not the bad ones.

I saw that he was:
o funny
o kind of cute
o sort of smart (honors algebra with me!)
o well liked
o popular but not conceited

However, I over looked certain things. Bad Qualities.
o not flirting with me, girls just crowd and adore him all the time
o kind of perverted (I know all guys are, but hey I don't wanna know about that stuff)
o looks sort of nerdy (though my new friend who I'll call Mindy, likes him and thinks he's hot. I just found out today and thank god I got over him 3 days ago or else I'd be really crushed!)
o swears more than I thought
o gets bored easily

See my problem with him now? Oh yeah, and he puts on Axe spray stuff every other day so he smells really great, but it's not overwelming. The girls in Drama class today were literally all over him-or more as his shirt-smelling his scent. He does smell good, I'll give him that.
Just another reason I don't like him: I hate having competition over a guy.
I'll throw in the towel before I get a black eye, if you know what I mean.

So, yes I like another guy now, his name is LightBright and he's really funny. Class clown, and slight jock. Average in looks, pretends to be slow but I know he's just doing it for show and it get the laughs, and he dresses in pretty bright clothes. MGFG stole his jacket and now I have it and I'm in love with it. It's warm and cute. It's some brand called Zoo York-he has like 9 shirts/sweaters that are that brand-and it's white with blue and purple and grey patterns on it.
As I was leaving the local small supermarket after school with my two new friends Mindy and CoolChicGeek, I saw two guys from my school. One jock, one class clown, both hanging together with 2 other guys that I don't know.

"Hey, so you're really a cheerleader That Girl?" said the jock.
"Yeah." I said a little quieter then necassary but that's only cuz the jock was my first crush in the entire world. Nice and Funny and Class Clown and President and Smart and Really Popular. I still get nervous around him.
"Hey, is that a guy's sweater there?" the jock was looking at the Zoo York sweater in my arms.
"Yes, it is." I said trying to avoid embarassment.
"Oooh! OHH!" said the 4 guys, or at least just the class clown and the jock, with their hands over their mouths and making that 'you just got dissed' or 'looks like someone got a guy/girl' sound.
My ears were red for the next 30 minutes. I could feel them all hot.

I had cheer practice all week, or more as just conditioning, since the actual tryouts were today, we learned the dances and cheers this week. I missed yesterday because I didn't feel like going. I was late today because I had to talk to my counseler about why my schedule was messed up and even though she gave me a totally different schedule, I'm just gonna continue my regular stuff. I love my classes because I know all the different people now. I'd hate to be the new stranger to the class, again.
The 2 girls I was with to show the cheer off, really sucked. I bet I did 2x as good as them even though I felt like I blew it, I might be wrong. They said they were looking for some kind of thing in them that could be helpful to the squad. Quick learners and people who try their very best, I once felt myself as one of those people until I actually went in front of them and forgot my whole thing.
One girl on the squad tried to help me out before, but I ended up forgeting the whole thing.

Well, it's 12:13, or actually 12:14 now. So, time to sleep. Tomorrow is "spend time with dad and brother day!"

Thank you and good night
-curtains fall and audience bursts into applause-

-That Girl, ready and willing for something big to happen.