Sunday, September 13, 2009

100th post! Though the grass is always greener of course.

Song of the day: If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback and Fairytale by Sara Barieillies

Quote of the day: No quote today.
ACTION of the day: Hugs from LightBright.

Mood: So very confused.

Dear Diary, ((12:36 AM on Saturday-or I guess SUNDAY-night, or I guess you could say "Morning" since it's techically in the "AM" right now.))

I'm so very confused right now!
I invited Sunshine (remember her from my drab midddle school days?) to go shopping with me and LightBright today and I also invited Ex-BestFriendForever too but then Sunshine went and invited Cheeky from middle school years. And I didn't want to freak out LB, so we basically hid and avoided them all day today.

I had so much fun today! LB kept on hugging and tickling me and taking pictures with me as we went shopping downtown with EBFF tagging along. was originally just gonna be me and LB shopping by ourselves downtown but I just had to invite someone else! I was nervous it would be awkward for the two of us, but it wasn't awkward at any time. At all.

And I really do want to be happy about the whole day, but there were some less-than-perks that we encountered.

First off, me and EBFF were about 2 hours late meeting LB downtown today. I was in a guilt trip all morning and couldn't get out of it. I had to lie and say that the bus broke down.

Second, I was nervous that if LB met Sunshine and Cheeky, he would be freaked out and turned off by my school friends. And he ended up not wanting to meet them so we ran from store to store avoiding them, though I won't lie; it was fun running around with him. He let me wear his hat so I wore it sideways on my head all day and looked super adorable-slash-crazy.

But mostly? The biggest problem for me is that I'm not used to this. I'm not used to having a guy hugging me and joking with me and getting my jokes and getting me in general. I'm so used to the teasing and mean boys. Mean stupid boys being mean and stupid. But now there's LightBright...who's kind and funny and who likes hugging me.

EBFF thinks that LB likes me, but I don't know if I can truthfully believe it. I've liked about 5 guys in total in my life and none of them have admittedly said that they like me or flirted with my to my knowledge.

Although there was this one guy in my Bio class that used to like me.
He kept texting me and texting me and texting me stupid things like "watcha up to now?!" every 15 minutes and it freaked me out. He practically made me hug him (he still does make me hug him after Bio every day) and it almost felt like he was stalking me. Every corner; there he is. I go to the local smoothie store with friends after school, and guess who's across the street looking directly at me?
I eventually had to stop the whole thing. I did not like him and still don't and am NOT NOT NOT attracted to him in any way! So now in Bio, me and another girl tease him all class period about little things. Little stings, small burns, but no truely mean things are said to him. And it worked! Thank god he stopped liking me the other day!

Anyway, like I said. I'm not used to LightBright's attention and it actually scares me a little. I think I'm afraid to be hurt now. I'm so open and so myself that I'm scared he'll not like me for me. But...he seems to like me so far.
I'm really confused, and in some way I'm not sure if...
We're really close and I don't know how to handle it.

Fifteen by Taylor Swift, check it out.

-That Girl, confused, but maybe a little happy?

BTW! 100th POST! Woot woot thank you to my 6 followers, you help me soo much just by being a follower. It encourages me to write more. And I love you all.
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