Monday, March 30, 2009
So I've been thinking of dying my hair a deep-chestnut-ish-type brown or maybe a sandy blonde with lighter blonde high lights, or light brown highlights with the chestnut colored hair.
I'm just so sick of keeping my same dark brown hair, it's so boring!
I'll keep you updated on that.
Some stuff in my life recently discovered:
* Sunshine has become friends with the most influential ( as in popular ) girls in school. Cheeky has become more accustomed to her as this progresses
* MS still hates me.
* I'm planning on becoming a cheerleader in high school, it's my only way to insure my continuous semi- popularity in high school.
Talk to ya later Diary,
To continue what I was saying...
I help out my "friends," give them a shoulder to lean on, person to give them a laugh, but what am I getting out of it? After all, isn't a friendship a give and take process.
WHOA. that's really weird. As I typed that last part, I heard Christmas-y type music. The kind you hear in movies before something life-changing takes place.
Besides ^ that stuff...
wait, I'm runnin' outta batteries, I'll just save this for now....
Song(s) to describe my life: A Lonely September by Plain White T's and still that Chasing Pavements song. Except, it's not September anymore.
Quote(s) of the day: "Dammit, I can't do nothing!" by George Lopez
So, evidently I have excepted going to W. As much as I think W isn't the right school for me, I have to go and there isn't really a point in complaining about it. In the words of George Lopez,
Dammit, I can't do nothing!
But, I can't change anything so I'm just chill about it now.
Alright, so this last Sunday, as in yesterday, it was NowBrunette's 14th birthday party. I actually got there like an hour late because of uninteresting family matters before. It was supposed to be a BBQ I think, but all it really was was a field of grass behind you condo place with a bouncy house that deflated one time before I got there. And it wasn't really a BBQ nor a fun party. For me at least.
I mean, the girls got really mean there. I mean, not MEAN mean, like insulting mean, but like joking around mean when they're mean, but they just want the laughs out of everything.
They were playing this game where someone gets behind someone else and crouches and without the target knowing, another person pushes the target ( who is a person ) over the crouched person. It's called Turnover or something or another.
No one was really BBQ-ing stuff, it was just Indian food since NB is half Indian and half White.
I don't know...I just felt out of place traveling from cliques to cliques varying with my so-called friends. Like MissGiggles for example. I thought that the two of us were really close, but sometimes I just think that she hangs out with me for the laughs. I mean, I do try to make her laugh a lot, because I'm like a personal class clown for friends, but sometimes I just feel used. Like a piece of tissue paper, used and put to the side if not thrown away. I make friends laugh and I comfort them at times...but who makes me laugh? Who comforts me?
POS-parent over shoulder.
wait a sec.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Sometimes you get what you want, sometimes you don't. And sometimes everything sucks and is completely unfair.
Song(s) to describe my life right now: Pbbt. I don't care. none?
Quote(s) of the day: " Life isn't fair. Deal with it. " by every mean person in this cruel world.
NOTE: this particular post is going to be much more depressing then all others before. it's one of those rare ones where I'll describe how everything in my life sucks right now.
Dear Diary, (( 8:35 PM. sitting at home on a Friday night when all the rest of my supposed "friends" are most likely enjoying themselves and not sitting in a big puddle of self pity and unfairness, like someone else I know. ))
It did not work.
I did not call my dad.
I cried all night long and refuse to talk to my mom.
The school closed off the day for applications.
I do not feel good right now.
Alright, so I asked my mom and she decided not to pay for my private school and now I have to go to a crappy public school. Sure, it's one of the best public schools in this damn city, but who really cares at all. YAY. I won't get shot on my way there or be stabbed when I get inside. NOW I feel better.
Evidently, I have found out that even though I Thought my family was on the wealthier side, I was wrong. Several family members are in debt and my mom wouldn't accept money from my family members anyway for my school. I found out that my dad is very bad with money, though he makes quite a hefty pay with him working at the candy company and being a bartender. It doesn't matter though. He didn't want to pay for me, therefore my next four years of high school, I think, will suck. MS is still VERY angry at me, although she isn't ignoring me anymore. Now I get insults instead from her.
AND NOW I HAVE TO GO TO FREAKING HIGH SCHOOL WITH MS FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS AND I KNOW THAT SHE'LL BE GIVING ME HELL THE WHOLE TIME FOR NO GOOD REASON BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HER IN THE FIRST PLACE, SO WHY DOES SHE SUDDENLY HATE ME NOW??
NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE!!!!!!!!!
The only time I'm actually near her is when PG is also with the two of us, making that closeness of us all. Otherwise, MS literally diverts from me, practically running from me to someone else when she sees me any 50 feet of her. Her scowls are really getting to me and today I accidentally hit her with an orange in her stomach. Karma is a you-know-what, but it was an accident anyway.
She must really hate me now. I think that PG may start having to pick between the two of us and I don't know who she would pick.
I was bawling my eyes out for about 4 hours yesterday once I got home.
But it didn't help really.
My mom. You know what she told me?
She said, "Stop being such a crybaby unless you want me to talk to your principal and tell him to flunk you!" followed by "Stop crying! ( me-not stopping ) What are you deaf , retarded, or what?! I have a headache!" Then more, " DAMN! stop crying you crybaby!!! SHUT up and stop now! "
That's right. My own mother told me that.
I'm so used to her saying those things though, I've learned to ignore it.
I hope I don't end up like George Lopez on the George Lopez show.
That's about my life in a nutshell at the moment.
The way I see it, if I become a cheerleader at the high school, I may end up with happiness. I have a chance of happiness and until then, I'll try to ignore all the crap going on right now.
Who lost the battle?
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Since Mom isn't home yet, I've fled to the backyard where, surprisingly, internet still works.
I'm scared. I'm scared that as much as I fight and argue, my parents won't budge.
Still on guard and ready to give you the 411,
Song: It's My life by Bon Jovi
Mood: Don't ask. Look at last post.
Dear Diary (( 4:04 PM ))
I'm not letting this go without a fight.
When my mom gets home, you better bet I'll be calling my dad on the phone sobbing about not wanting to go to a high school with gangs and smoking. I've found a way to swallow my tears and save them for later.
I refuse refuse REFUSE to go to W. without a fight against it. In fact, I'm not going to that school ever. EVER. I'm never going there to learn. NEVER. I'll cut class before that, anything, anything to not go there. I refuse to go there and fail my life.
Preparing for battle,
Right now I am literally sobbing all over myself.
My form for my private school is due tomorrow at 12 in the afternoon and my dad said that he'd talk to my mom about it since they have to pay for the school and my mom called saying that she doesn't want to pay.
I feel like they just don't care enough about me to let me go there.
If my brother was allowed to go to a private school that cost the sane amount of money, then why don't they let ME go?
I don't want to go!!!!!
People there are in gangs and smoke and the school is too big and it's all just full of losers. The school doesn't even care if I go or not, so I'll probably end up failing all my classes and I'll end up cutting school and having a horrible high school experience.
I'm crying so hard right now, but I can't do a thing about anything.
My life is so unfair. I hate my life so much at times like this.
I keep on wishing that I don't go to the public school, but I don't have a choice.
Why can't my parents afford to send me to a good school, but my brother could? It's not like we're short on money now, we have the same amount as we always have.
Today was just horrible and I feel like I have absolutely nobody to lean on in my life. Yeah I have what I call "friends." But I have no real friends that I could talk to about this and they can't change my parents' minds anyway.
What is a friend? If it's someone you joke with and hang out with on occasion, then that's what I have. I feel like nobody respects what I think or cares about me the way that other people have friends and family by their sides.
I hate my life so much. I'm trying to stop crying, but I can't help how I feel. When my mom sees me crying she just tells me to shut up and I have no one to talk to. I could talk to my brother, but he's part of my family and it's not like he's a best friend who can cheer you up and stay and stay on your side. I don't know why everything always ends up wrong in my life. Is it karma? I haven't done anything all that bad to deserve the things happening in my life, so why is it all happening.
I can keep bawling all I want, but I always end up stopping because it's not like anyone gives a shit about my feeling these days anyway. I feel so horrible.
I'd do anything to go to the school I want and have real friends to lean on.
Why doesn't anybody care, about me?
-That Girl, bawling and twirling into depression I'm sure.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Mood(s): Tired and Lethargic
Song(s) to describe my life: Whoa, how'd I make that dot?? huh, I can't make it change colors.
Quote of the Day:
“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.” By Unknown____
Dear Diary (( 3:57 PM. Alegebra homework? Take a guess. ))
I am amazed. And surprised and worried about EBF.
You know how I had a birthday party a couple weeks ago, right? Well, I didn't invite Ex-Best Friend because the year before she didn't mesh with any of my friends and she really didn't have a good time until everyone else fell asleep at the sleepover and we talked and did stupid stuff together like playing video games and stuff.
She hasn't found out about it yet. That's right, my Ex-Best Friend is so incredibly out of the loop that she doesn't know when her old best friend, and still close friend ( we do ride the bus together ) has the "party of the year" as some have put it. I feel really bad about not inviting her and the reason why will be explained soon.
Three "party" themed topics are all coming up in this week.
EBF and me are planning to have a party-sleepover together since she thinks that I haven't had a party at all this year. We'll most likely go over to my dad's place.
NowBrunette is having a 14th birthday party which is a BBQ in the park place in her gated community behind her condominium or something like that. Basically all the pops, all my friends, and myself were invited. EBF is not invited as usual. Something like that really makes the two of us see how our lives have taken different paths in the last few years. I feel like Sloane in Kiss and Blog except that I have yet to fail in popularity or be talked about in a blog. Being Sloane really isn't a good thing.
And, wait, what's the third thing? Oh yeah, my friends want me to have a Spring Break Party with a sleepover this time, but that won't be until Spring Break anyway, so I guess that's not this week.
I really, desperately don't, DON'T want to go to the public school that I got into, but since I didn't get financial aid ( darn me not being really poor ! ) I might not be able to go to the private school I really want to go to and got into. Just cuz my mom wants to buy a new crappy house and we might not have enough money to do both things even with my dad and mom paying together.
oh wait, POS! Parent over shoulder! post more in a sec.
I TOTALLY JUST POURED MY HEART OUT ON THIS PAGE againnnn AND THE PAGE DIDN'T SAVE, IT JUST SHUT DOWN, MY INTERNET SHUT DOWN AND I TRIED TO POST IT! I'LL MOST LIKELY NEVER RE-POST THAT SAME INFO.
OKAY, WELL I'LL POST UP SOME MAIN IDEAS IN A SECOND.
Oh, and I'd like to thank my third follower, tell your friends and keep my blog alive please!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Mood(s): Patient, Naive, Indignant
Song(s) to describe my life: If U Seek Amy by Britney Spears.
Quote of the Day: "If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." -Anonymous.
Why is that my quote? Well, why not?
Dear Diary (( 3:24 PM; no doubt that I still have confusing-as-hell algebra homework to do this weekend ))
SO. Guess what? Well...
* drum roll for dramatic effect please *
I got all my high school acceptance/declience ( is that a word, " declience?" probably not. who cares! ) papers.
I got into Washington, Sacred Heart Prep, and not into University 'cause I was missing a couple, excuse my language, stupid ass papers, and I forgot to take the lame SSAT. In some way, YES, it is mostly my bad for not remembering to take the test and getting the recommendation papers signed. But, too late, so does it matter? I always have found it a bit pathetic and useless to pity your past. Let the demons go, and move on with life! is what I always think. Without the demon part that is.
I'm kind of lost on choosing which school. SH will cost money since I didn't get any financial aid, but the school was really great when I shadowed. Wash seems okay, but I forgot to tour the place, and now I really regret it. It would be a whole lot easier if this city only had one high school to go to, or if there were two but one really sucked so it's basically only one good one.
sorry, I always do that when I'm stressing out. I have a spot in my diary just for scribbling random nothing's and it's very good for letting out emotions.
At home, ( I'm at "Daddy's" right now, which isn't "home" for me, just my dad's place. I live with "Mommy." That's right, everyone in my family, not just including my immediate, calls their parents "Mommy" and "Daddy." Not saying the words is really weird. If someone just says "Mom" everyone else flips out like a little alarm goes of in their head or something. I mean you're just like, "what?" but of course we don't talk about this. It's an unwritten rule for my family like, you know, the one where you don't date friends' ex's? Yeah, it's like that ) I got into a fight with my mom about talking back or whatever ( thanks to her I have to see the counselor at school now, but my friends don't know about it. I don't need the rep as the girl who is insane at home! Which I'm not!) though I was just trying to talk to her, and she threatened to take away Internet which means that I couldn't blog anymore! She doesn't know about this blog, thank goodness. But now, the Internet isn't working at home! I don't think that she really stopped Internet connection, but she might have! I'm afraid to talk to her about it since if she didn't, it may give her the idea of it.
There's also a new rule that I must be up and about brushing my teeth every morning by 6:30 AM now on school days, or else my mother will pick out my outfits for school and I have no choice if that happens. Which, may I say, sucks alot! It's way too hard for me and I'm like a fish without water the first 10 minutes I get up in the morning.
MS really hates me now.
Like seriously, she hates my guts and everything I touch. She won't text me, sit near me, talk to me in any positive way, stop scowling at me, or even give me acknowledge of my existence if I don't talk to her first causing the scowl to my existence. EBF ( Ex Best Friend ) told me that I've been trash-talked about. She says that MS says I blame her for everything ( note that I cannot recall a point when this was true. ) and I think it's because she just thinks that she's too good for me as of now. And it sucks. But most of all? It hurts really bad.
I've never had a person at school really dislike me before or actually trash talk about me. Sure the "she's kind of annoying sometimes" kind of talk to me I wouldn't mind so much, but right now I feel bad. Bad, bad, and like dirt. Especially since I don't know what to do here. She won't talk to me, so what should I do? Nothing that I can think of.
And what do I write in her yearbook this year as we graduate? I don't think that
Hey MS, you bitch!
I'm sure glad we're graduating so I don't have to see your inside-and-out ugly ass 5 days a week anymore.
Since I know that you think you're too good for me, screw you and have a shitty summer!!
All my HATRED,
Your cold shoulder: That Girl.
(( You know, the one who spent countless dollars on your snacks after school? ))
P.S. Hope you are dead at our 10 year reunion. :)
would really work. Partially because I would get in major trouble from the teachers and principal and partially 'cause all my, well everyone, would think that I"M a bitch ( excuse ALL the horrible language in this certain post. ) making MS cry and all that. Which she so would. Oh, and I might get beat up a couple times that day.
So, I'm stuck in a dead-end, no U-Turn path with her, unless of course, we go through one of those heartfelt make-ups and school one day filled with loving apologies and countless hugs.
But seriously, what's the chance of that actually happening? 1/100?
Okay. GREAT. I'll start my apology letter.
Sorry, I get cruelly sarcastic when I'm deeply upset.
Which would be now.
The May Dance in well, May is coming up and I'm hoping deep down in me that if it's guys' pick for partners in the swing, Nice Jock will ask me to be his partner. Yeah, the 8th graders all do the Swing, and the other grades do group dances, all the way from hip-hop dancing for 6th graders to square or ribbon dances for 1st graders. Cross your fingers and pray for me. The first guy wish to come true? It would be wonderful.
Huh and Hmm.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Song(s) to describe my life: Hot N Cold by Katy Perry, Hot N Cold, and Hot N Cold.
Quote of the Day: "Sometimes it's those days you wish you had a boyfriend
to cuddle with, hold hands, kiss, tell him everything." -someone on YahooAnswers
Dear Diary, (( 4:45 PM. Again, I should be doing math homework right about now ))
First of all, I'd like to thank my two followers! I've been wanting to know if anyone has been reading this blog, and with that encouragement, I know that this blog won't stop anytime soon :)
So...yes, I am on and off with Nice Jock and Nicerooni still. The other day I felt like maybe I was starting to like Nicerooni a little more, and that my Nick Jock phase was over. But things change, because now I'm 50/50 with them...all over again.
GOD. Why can't I just like one of them? Life is hard.
I don't know which one is harder:
Picking which one of my two high schools I want to go to.
Picking which one of my two great guys I want to go for.
Okay, well, high school is obviously more important than picking two 8th grade guys, but still. You get the point.
And right now MissStucky is so mad at me these days, she won't even talk to me through texts. Like seriously, she only talks to me during math when she thinks that a problem is wrong. She hates me for some unknown reason and I have no idea what to do.
Friends suck and guys suck.
Guys just suck for confusing me all the time. And friends suck for hurting you.
I hate getting the cold shoulder, which is what I usually do to people who upset me, but I'm not one to hold a grudge and I always tell them what's wrong eventually.
I'm so upset with my life right now that I don't even want to blog about it right now, I already said the main points anyway.
Oh, I do have one more thing to say.
Some days when I look at the sky, the moon, or anything else that makes me sigh in it's gorgeous-ness at night, I just close my eyes and think if that other guy is doing the same thing. Thinking about me. When I go through I tunnel, I always hold my breath and make a wish.
It's a funny thing about wishes. Sometimes people say that they never come true, but for me? They almost always come true and I'm being completely truthful about that.
To go to summer camp? CHECK.
To have ---- [ insert specific activity here ] birthday party? CHECK.
To have my skin clear up a little more? CHECK.
Everything comes true...except my wishes for a guy. Any guy, or a kiss, or anything that has to do with guys or romance. It's actually really frustrating that I can have anything I want basically, except a guy in my life besides my brother, dad, or etc.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
I took another quiz, this time with said "PIX."
here it is....
man, some people go crazy making these quizzes. here's my result...
Your dream guy is Teddy Geiger. Your lucky...really lucky...he's a good guy. Really cute, plays guitar, and is sensitive...(me: he is mine!!!!! :( )
yeah...go figure. other results? same kind of lame thing.
OH! I just remembered something.
Something that threw me off of not liking Nicerooni anymore.
On his Facebook, he has one of those stupid "what sign would you be most attracted to" and guess what it was??
My sign. Pieces.
And I'm like "damn! maybe he really does like me then!" pardon my cursing.
Still confused but more relaxed from the ranting,
Dear Diary, (( 10 minutes after posting last post 12:35 ))
So, I'm about to take the "Dream Guy" quiz provided by The-N.com at the quiz there is provided by none other than Quizilla.com.
I'll post the questions and results here once I'm done.
Oh crap, it asks about your crush, so I guess I'll have to do it Twice!
okay...so using Nice Jock as my crush I got...
Average guys are for you because they make you feel special. Go get em!
Go get those sweet average boys that are always better then they seem!
I'll try Nicerooni this time...
same thing. Hmm.
and the answers?
The Dream guy quiz! Find out your guy type!
You are the perfect girl for the sporty, buff and popular guy. Go find your perfect dude!
He is sweet, hott, and understanding...go get him!
You are perfect for the nerdy guys. Go get one!
The nerdy guys have you hooked with their smarts and charm. Go for it!
Average guys are for you because they make you feel special. Go get em!
Go get those sweet average boys that are always better then they seem!
You like the deep, emo boys that are always angry or suffering. You want to take care of them forever. Go find a boy in pain!
These sensitive boys have you hokked but watch out for their tempers. Go for them if you love taking care of people.
You like the fancy guys that always have girls chasing them for their style and charm. Don't be afraid to go get him.
He likes the confident girls so don't be afraid to go for it!
evidently, I go for the boy next door.
But not Beachy or ShyGuy, they aren't my type, though they DO live next door.
Are nice Jock and Nicerooni looking for the Girl next door?
Mood(s): Confused, bittersweet, and Not Specified
Song(s) to describe my life: Too Little Too Late by JoJo. No wait, scratch that. Make it Hot N Cold by Katy Perry. That's totally the right one.
Quote of the Day: "Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it." -Lewis Carroll
Dear Diary, (( 10:01 PM Saturday, the day after Friday the 14th. ))
oops. couldn't finish this post, my mom was totally on my back last night!
I'll sum it up now...
so, yeah. That was yesterday's post, and I'll just say what needed to be said yesterday.
Dear Diary, (( 10:01 PM Saturday, the day after Friday the 14th. ))
well, technically, it's 12:08 PM the next day now, but whatever.
See, I thought I was over him and could go ahead to fall head over heels for Nice Jock, but I think I'm started to like Nicerooni ( new name for the Geek. I felt like Geek was way too harsh overall to call him. He IS especially nice to me! ) all over again.
He is so nice and gives me all his attention. I'm completely comfortable to be myself around Nicerooni, while I'm more self-conscious around Nice Jock. He always makes me laugh and I'm sure he would be a good boyfriend.
At the same time...though this sounds very, very, VERY shallow, Nice Jock is cuter and more popular and more...in control? I dunno. Nick Jock doesn't let people walk all over him while Nicerooni usually does. But I like them both.
Sometimes they flirt, sometimes they don't. They're both super nice to me, and not necessarily the same "nice" to everyone else.
DAMN ( pardon my language ) I wish that I could just let one go and keep the other!!
Hot N Cold is definitely describing everything right about now.
That's the game I've been playing constantly since this boy trouble.
It's quite helpful to be honest. Relaxing almost.
- That Girl. (( 12:25 PM same 'ol day. ))
Auv-Moi! ( I really don't know what that means. )
Friday, March 13, 2009
Mood(s): Anxious and excited and confused and nervous.
Wait, would that all just mean anxious?
Song(s) to describe my life: Situation by Push Play and I think Right Round by FloRida, although I don't completely understand what he's saying. I'll take a stab in the dark and say that it relates to me right now. My head IS spinning from everything in my life right now after all.
Hopefully, it'll be Our Song by Taylor Swift one day.
Quote of the Day: "Find the person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood. Bad mood. Ugly. Pretty. Handsome. The right person is going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with." by Juno. Though I've never actually seen the movie.
------- ^ that was yesterday's and I was planning on writing about...nail polish.
So I'll put a little tid-bit about nail polish colors now and then tell you about the really fun dance I just went to filled with short-shorts and geeky guys plus some pretty good dancing by yours truly.
So, my nail polish color always seems to reflect on how my life goes. When I use a bright, bold, hot color, I act more brave and adventurous. When I choose a more calm color, that's how I act. With light pinks? I act shy. And none of it is really intentional either. Something inside me just makes me act in certain ways.
Like now for instance. I have orange-red pretty nails manicured by one of the salons around my house and at the dance I was brave and sexy and cute. I was also very popular, but for some reason, MadameStucky seems to be incredibly annoyed-slash-angry with me, but that's beside the point 'cause she wasn't at the dance. Not that MS would be dancing anyway, she would be standing in the corner scrutinizing whatever it is that she wants to. At least I was dancing, and pretty well, too.
But who cares about her anyway? Today was one of my days to shine. Or at least glimmer a little.
Mood(s): Glimmering, sparkling, and a little frustrated too.
Song(s) to describe my life:
Kiss Me Through the Phone by Soulja Boy Tell 'Em ft. Sammie
Just Dance by Lady Gaga
Quote of the Day:
" Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance." It's some proverb.
Dear Diary, (( 10:17 PM Friday the 13th in March 09. ))
Well, today was the Unity Dance, Yearbook Party, and it was also Dress Crazy Day at school.
Overall, it was great, once I got to school where I couldn't fight with my mom anymore.
Before the dance, I went over to the mall and bought some new flip-flops, but they killed my feet and I put on my regular Converse for the dance. My brother came to pick me up and take muni over to the Unity Dance, in which we were lost and I was an hour and a half late. But it's all good, 'cause everyone knew it when I arrived. And I got a free necklace, which is also pretty cool.
And at the dance, I danced. I danced and even got Low when I was in my groups of friends.
I slow danced with three guys, only one from my school and he was a major geek in the 6th grade. Thank the lord that CrackerJacker saved me from him when she saw me make the oh-god-please-stab-a-knife-in-my-leg-or-save-me-from-this-majorr-geek face. She was all like, " yeah, what's up? got important news for ya!" and grabbed me away. Whew, hardly made it outta that one! I mean, this guy was a horrible dancer; he was off-beat, stepped on my feet several times, didn't move when people bumped into us, was short, sweaty (VERY!), wore geeky glasses, couldn't find the right place on my hips, and worst of all, kept staring and flipping his head side to side when he moved and it was the most awkward thing ever. The worst part? I asked him to dance out of desperation and despair of having no partner.
I learned from that though and asked out a slightly taller blonde guy ( I actually thought he was asian when asked him to dance ) who was alright. TONS better than the other guy and kind of cute in a 6th or maybe 7th grader way.
The last time ( I was only there for three slow dances ) Sunshine pushed me ( not so hard, but still. ) into another guy. Actually, she pushed us both together and he just took my hip and I took his shoulders and we danced. This was an asian dude who looked as happy to dance with me as I was to dance with him. Just Okay, but wanting to dance with a special someone instead. I mean, he didn't exactly tell me, but I totally got the vibe. It was alright. At least he knew how to move pretty well, you know?
So, I did a little "Kiss me through the phone" and "Get low" dancing in groups with people and that was pretty fun. Since it was dark, you would think that I was a pretty good dancer! But I was just hopping a little with the other girls, not bad though, I even impressed myself! When VZN said, "Dayum That Girl!" I felt pretty darn good. It was a good comment to hear, but really, when he said that, someone just pushed me into him while I was hopping around, therefore, it looked like I really knew what I was doing!
Oh, and before I forget. Remember that guy that I used to like? The Geeky one? Well, while I was dancing with Guy #3, he was dancing behind us and said something like, " You'll be hearing about his at school!" or something joke-ingly like that after he saw me grimacing at the guy I was dancing with to him. I wonder if he likes me?
And a weird thing?
I saw Nice Jock just standing there bored the whole time with his polo on ( yes polo. the Jock-y guy I like was wearing a polo. formal much? ). I don't think I saw him dancing once. During the slow song I passes by him and he still had the same expression on his face; which wasn't anything. It got me a bit frustrated since he's being doing all that flirting (I think!) with me this year.
I also marange-ed ( spelling? ) with my old partner for the same song in the MayDance, who is shorter than me, but still really fun. That was pretty fun too.
Overall, the night was great and I'm really glad that I went!
Buh-Bye tre maifique' diary-eh!
-That Girl in the sunshine. (( 10:48 PM, same day. Friday the 13th! ))
Monday, March 9, 2009
I JUST POURED MY HEART OUT ABOUT NICE JOCK ON THIS PAGE AND THEN THE INTERNET SHUT DOWN FOR NO APPARENT REASON.
I AM SO FREAKING ANGRY THAT I DON'T KNOW IF I FEEL LIKE RE-TYPING IT EVERY AGAIN.
TO BE VAGUE,
HE'S BEEN HEAVILY FLIRTING WITH ME ( I THINK ) AND MS DOESN'T LIKE HIM ANYMORE.
ACCORDING TO SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE, HE TOTALLY DIGS ME BECAUSE HE SAYS REALLY RANDOM AND STUPID THINGS TO ME ALL THE TIME JUST SO HE CAN CHAT WITH ME AND HE TRIES TO IMPRESS ME CONSTANTLY.
MS IS A SOURPUSS AND I DON'T THINK GUYS LIKE HER TOO MUCH.
My birthday this year was simply great.
So, yes it started out awkward like most parties do, but we ended up all having a blast.
The seating arrangements somehow, though I don't know how, worked out prefect.
Wonders of wonders, VZN ( I won't be defining that one, but he's a guy for the record ) called the night before, well okay, he gave me the number, asked me to call him, and insulted me because he's an idiot, and I called him and let him come. And he sat next to my MOM! Of course, neither minded much, but it's still kinda funny.
VZN came at 7:40, then CrackerJacker a bit later, and me at about 8:10, NowBrunette at about 8:14. MissGiggles was the one that gave us problemos though. She was like half an hour late and we we're about leave when she gave us a call and said "20 minutes" though we were starving and about to go eat at a buffet. I told my mom and we met up at the local pet store to pick her up. The four of us hardly fit in the back, but it worked and it was hilarious, the inside jokes are too many to count.
The buffet was wonderful, the chocolate machine exploded chocolate and that was really funny and we ate stuff, my friends loaded my face with makeup horribly, like oh-my-gosh-did-you-have-a-horrible-reaction- bad.
------------------ couldn't finish ^ yesterday.
My mom was right on my back yelling for me to go to sleep last night, but my homework took soo long to do! I guess you gotta pay for quality.
Lemme finish my birthday-day-party story before I talk about today.
So the makeup was incredibly funny, someone put blush on my eyes, my friends called them "hooker eyes" and I somehow got lipgloss mixed with a pale blush on my lips causing me to look like I had a terrible reaction to something, and I couldn't lick it off 'cause it tasted like, well, blush. Pretty funny. I had to wear the glasses MG gave me before, and they were pretty...unique glasses, Haha. My brother said I looked like a robot, which in my book, isn't necassarily a good thing.
We went to the boardwalk and had a blast then went back to the city. NB and VZN had to go to BigO's party after. Apparently, he only invited like 10 people. OF was there though she couldn't go to mine...hmm. And Sunshine and Apple went to some girl's party at a hotel which they said they were going to go to months before. Their loss!
That's about it.
Oh, NB threw up and I scrubbed the carpet in the car, did I mention that already?
Well, it was nast-Y.
Today. Let me start today's daily stuff.
Song(s) to describe my life: The Anthem by Good Charolette
Quote of the Day: "See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil" By-who knows?
Wait, NONO I'll make a new post for today, too much love today.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Look at my title and mix it with public humiliation, and anxiousness. Oh, and please feel free to add a handful of confusion with pure excitement and dash of j-o-y.
Song(s) to describe my life right now:
A mingling ( thank my social studies teacher for that "marvelous" word "of interesting parallelism" )
of So What by Pink and Don't Ask Me by Ok Go.
And if you want, add All The Single Ladies by Beyonce just because I'm single.
Quote of the Day:
"You don't like everyone, so why should everyone like you?" -By unknown
Dear Diary, it's 5:30 PM and a school night. Note that I still have a whole night full of algebra homework to do right now. I really dislike algebra.
I've decided to put a little extra on the top of each entry just to add a little extra something, besides the fact that I write "Dear Diary" every entry when other just say "Hello world" or something that draws you in for attention like that. When I put "Dear Diary," at least I feel like I'm actually talking to a person, in some way or another. Go figure.
Or as PrincessGiggles always laughs at, Go Figure Skate.
And it's becoming a personal favorite of mine.
Down to birthday business, and in an earlier post remember when I said I hope my birthday won't go down in flames? I think it's going to. Not literally of course, but you get the idea.
I get the horrible idea that it'll end up like this...
and that, in my opinion, would be considered bad.
Sometimes I think that it would all be easier be totally un-popular and a total outcast.
But then again, I've been there before and it sucked donkey's tail end.
I got this whole idea of a blog from a really cool novel called Kiss and Blog by...well, I'm not sure who wrote it, but her last name had to little circles on the top of a couple letters. Wow. That was a horrid description. Winter and her friends Sloane were un-popular in their freshman year and decide to try to change their ways the next and Sloane ends up fitting right with the popular crowd while Winter sees it all as fake and not very fun. Sloane does not hold the door open for her as she enters popularity, and that's basically what it's all about. Poor Winter.
But in my real life, I am the Sloane and I left my metaphorical Winter, although there's no blog of hatred written about me by my ex-BFF I'm sure. But the book ends in a different way than it is right now, and I won't go ahead and give it all away.
So, back to my party.
MadameStuckey most likely won't being going to my party because of a stupid fight with her mom and Cheeky had the utmost bluntness-I think you start to gain more of that stuff as your rank goes up because anything before and it's just being rude-to ask to take her place at my party. I just said, "maybe" and smiled, the cheap shot to answering any question. She didn't buy it much though, but she asked again later once she got more details about it from my friends, who by the way, talk way too loud about it! Are they TRYing to get me in trouble?
But BigFatHen has yet to say anything nice to me...in this lifetime. She thinks that she's better then everyone else and it seriously pisses me off when people are like that. She obviously is not. When she split her chin open in PE I did partially feel bad for her, but sorry, karma's a female dog in which she was a dirty bone that day. If that somehow can be interpreted to make some kind of sense. BFH is the only girl and school who seems to truly dislike me and I most say that I very much dislike her. She has not asked me about my birthday or anything like that, but I did get a "thanks!" on Facebook when I said "Happy Birthday BigFatHen!" on her birthday. But of course, that's the kinda thing that everyone posts on the b-day-greeting-givers' profile.
----------- next day. 4:34 PM 3/5/09 that ^ was yesterday.
Scratch the last part about BigFatHen.
I admit...she was actually nice to me today. Then again, maybe she's just becoming accustomed to me because me and PrincessGiggles are pretty close now. Her and MS? Not as close.
What I was talking about yesterday was that I was thinking of was the Cheeky situation.
If I invite her, one or more of the following things will happen:
0 I'll have a better rep (A very popular girl practically begging to come to my party?)
0 People will think I'm a desperate wannabe (for having a very popular girl who isn't very close to me come to my birthday party)
0 I'll have more respect ( look at first reason)
0 I"ll have a shitty birthday party because I won't be comfortable cracking jokes or anything ( pardon my language but I feel very strongly 'bout this)
0 I'll have an envying party (pretty and popular girls going to an amusement park?)
0 Guys will check us out where we go (because Cheeky gives off the finishing touch of coolness)
0 My family will think that I'm cooler (ditto)
And that's where I stand. Help me choose what to do!!! Any self-respecting person with their dignity would not invite Cheeky I know, but come'on, she really wants to go and it would make me cooler in school. Not that I'm not popular now, but I would feel more confident and stuff if she were with me.
Oh, to help, here's the seating arrangement in the red mini-van without Cheeky and Apple:
Mom driving / ---------- no one next to her
BigBro / BigBro's girlfriend.
Me and NowBrunette or Me and PrincessGiggles / CrackerJacker / PG or NB
( I guess smallest haveta sit together)
so, where would Cheeky and Apple sit? My mom wants me to invite Apple. "she's a nice girl."
let's see where they could sit... ( note that Cheeky is kinda big ( tallness and leg wise ) and CJ is kinda chubby)
(Apple and Me are smaller, so is MB)
Mom driving / ---------- no one next to her
BigBro I could sit here with him instead. / BigBro's girlfriend.
Me and PrincessGiggles / CrackerJacker with Apple. / NB and Cheeky.
And we'd all have partners for rides. It's even.
But could we all fit??
Six in a THREE seater?!
Someone please help me, I'm anxious, worried and other stuff.
-still That Girl.
Monday, March 2, 2009
( note that its the same day as my last post and I still have not finished doing my homework nor started, but I refuse to do it right now ), 7:23 PM- 7:42 PM
I've decided that this diary-slash-blog needs some more spice and intrigue.
So I'll show you: some fashion-styles I'm interested in at the moment; cool celebs; quotes that are like me; and whatever else I like :)
so look out for random pics of stuff I like; links too!
(( 5:46 PM Monday Night where I reckon I should be doing my homework now. ))
I'm in a desperate mood to blog right now.
Today was perfect, all until I brought up the subject of high school applications to my mom that is.
Now I feel horrible. Now I feel like crying. Sobbing. Running somewhere.
See, today was great.
Funny, and all that good stuff.
Heck, Nice Jock asked ME to do the jump rope thing with him in PE today. And is he ever good at jump rope!!
The girls were respectable and friendly. Nice and made me laugh.
I invited CrackerJacker to my party and that turned out well.
I found out that Sunshine couldn't go to my party because she had to go to her friend's.
But then my mom started yelling and lecturing me about not taking the SSAT; I forgot.
And now I feel like a piece of crap. Like, really bad.
There was just ONE high school I really wanted to go to, really badly. And now I can't go, why you may ask? I didn't take the retarded SSAT. I forgot to take the damn thing. I'm allowed to swear right now. I feel horrible. But I shouldn't, everything up to that was great and I can still go to the other school, even though freakin' half of my class is going there already.
The reason I wanted to go to that other school so badly is because I really wanted to start a-new. Start fresh. Start a clean slate, and you get the picture. I'm known as the cute-friendly-goofy-funny girl. I'm known as popular, but not at the top. I want to go somewhere where nobody knows me and I force myself to be the person that I really want to be. The girl inside of me.
And I had a chance there. But now? I have to go with a load of people who know my name already, think things of my already. I don't have the worst reputation, but I want something more. Something better.
Too late now.
Good job That Girl. That'a girl. Go got'em.
^that made no sense.
And I seriously don't care anymore about that ^ or the high school thing really.
In 6th grade, my teacher said that we probably shouldn't put a bunch of high school names in a hat and pick one randomly. 'Cause that would be-more or less-stupid.
I think I might do that.
So let's go back to Nice Jock. What happened with him you may ask?
It's kinda confusing, him these days.
So, the PE teacher said for the girls to grab a jump rope and to pick a guy partner.
I wasn't sure who to pick-though I knew that I liked a certain guy... would he like me?-so I just went up to the jump rope rack looking for a partner.
This girl Oatmeal asked Nice Jock if he'd be her partner and he said, "No, Goldie (a dude) is my partne-( then says the next part quickly as he sees my with no partner ) no, actually That Girl is my partner." Naturally, I'm incredibly pleased with this, but I play it cool and I'm all like, "sure, let's get a jump rope."
And he's really good, but I'm not.
Actually, It's said that he has a six-pack, and boy do I believe him!
He does this thing where he picks up his feet and the rope goes under twice before he jumps and he can do this several times in a row, I can do the said "pony" a while before I get totally out of breath and trip up.
POS for a second there! (parent over shoulder, actually mom over shoulder, but... yeah.)
So, I was pretty happy with the whole thing. And PrincessGiggles and Madame Stucky-
[POS again. god, I hate my mom sometimes. Just makes me feel worse then I already do. ]
-were all worked up about me being with a cool and semi-cute guy. And asked if he asked me or vice versa, and of course, I told them that he asked me. That basically made my whole day, up to the previously mentioned part, great.
I forgot to mention what's really eating at me about my birthday.
For the first time in all my life in while I've been friends with her, she has been invited to my birthday parties. Every year for like seven years now.
And I couldn't invite her this year for several reasons:
0 She would not have fun because she's not friends with my friends and she would be ignored.
0 My friends think she's a weirdo.
0 She lowers my soical ranking which is pretty high up at the moment.
0 She'll know that I invited her last minute.
0 I just don't want her there to create confusion in several ways.
And I can't talk to her about my party at all.
I wonder if she knows about it already and knows that she's not invited.
I feel really bad about it. She invited me to hers even though it sucked.
I'm a bad friend.
But it's too late now.
WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE.
-That Girl signing off
(( 6:28 PM Monday. Still need to do homework dammit. ))